January

It's January.  If you were not reading this, you would've heard an audible sigh. 




I hate January..okay hate, is a strong word.  I don't even like my children to use that word.  I tell them I prefer 'strongly dislike.'

I realized this morning that I haven't blogged much this month, which means I haven't been pondering much, which means I've felt a little diconnected with God.  (Yes, I'm a pastor, so I'm probably supposed to feel connected), but...

Truthfully, I do feel connected with God in the way that I know God is connected to me, but...it's January.  And I strongly dislike January.  It's harder for me to see God when it's dark all the time, even though I know God sees me.  It's harder for me to feel God's warmth when it's 15 degrees, even though I know God is my shelter.  It's harder for me to rest in the presence of God when I know if I sit down I'm just going to fall asleep, because....it's dark all the time, because it's January.

See, I am in a viscious circle.

It's also almost February - which isn't a whole lot better (about now, I bet you're thrilled your reading this...).  But just around the corner from February is March, which gives me hope.  In my mind I'm wondering if in some weird way I should be thankful for the "Januaries"  because they enable me to see the "Aprils" so much better. 

So, I'm just sort-of wondering...in the middle of January, where do you see God?  Come on, April.