The Sound of Music

Waiting. Waiting.. Waiting... Much of life is waiting. This morning I was waiting at the bus stop, as I do every morning. It's the same each morning - at least for me. I walk to the bus stop - the kids run. I chat with the parents - the kids run around in the park. The big, yellow bus pulls around the corner and all the kids run to their parents for the obligatory hug.

Jackson, my middle son, hugs me and runs along his merry way. Cooper, my youngest, always lingers a bit longer, hugs me a bit tighter, and engages in that moment more than Jackson. More than me.

This morning he hugs me tightly, laying his head on my chest for a few seconds.

"Mom, do you have your ipod on?"

"No, why?"

"I hear something..."

"Oh, you must hear my heart beating."

Lays his head back on my chest, "Oh yeah, that's what it is. It sounds so nice."
Then, he kisses my belly; I lean down and kiss him on the forehead and off he goes.

The sound of music, while waiting at the bus stop. I didn't even hear it. I didn't hear a thing really, or at least nothing really registered until that moment. Who knew that I sounded as good as an ipod. Now, since his current favorite song is, "BOOM, BOOM, POW" I'm not sure I really want to sound like that, but to know that me, just me, sounds like music to my son. Man, I will take that any day.

Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

When I Grow Up

At least once a day some conversation with one of my kids begins with, "When I grow up...". Usually it is followed by, "I want to be a "fill-in-the-blank".

Right now my youngest son is obsessed with clowns. When he grows up he wants to be a clown. Yes, a clown. He's been researching juggling, having me paint his face like a clown, wearing a hat... He's predominately interested in being a mime - very specific in his clownly desires.

So, I've been answering lots of questions about his attire. My response has been, "Yes, Cooper has decided he wants to be a clown when he grows up." Then I sort-of roll my eyes and say, "Really aiming high, huh?" Being a clown just doesn't seem to be an aspiration, plus could he support himself? Pay the bills? I mean, really -he does need to get practical

I've been thinking about it though...my oldest son - he used to want to be (and maybe still does)a comedian. He's totally funny - a real gift. I have people come up to me and tell me that he's the funniest kid they've ever met. And my middle son, he'll help anyone or anything. Once I saw him pray over a dying baby bird. He has a double dose of compassion.

So, it seems that I have children that want to grow up and entertain people, make people laugh, and care for people and animals. Man - those are things to want to be when you grow up. Those are things a mom should be encouraging, not rolling her eyes about.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I get lost in the labels or the expectations of life. Maybe it's just this time of my life... But, when I grow up, I hope I am doing those things that my children are so attuned to. I hope they don't lose that wonder at life and that they never stop imagining what they will give to the world.

So - what about you? What do you want to be or do when you grow up?

Silence

"Mom, I love you so much I don't even have the words..."

No words needed - that says more than I could say.

Expectations and Anticipations

Today I got dirty. The sun was out and I had some weeds to pull in my garden. I had looked forward to this since the weatherman predicted a mid-week warming. I expected to have a lovely time, anticipating the smell of the earth, squirmy worms, and the promise of planting tomato plants soon. These are the things I expected. But, when I invited my youngest son to help me out, I 'found' something else.

"Cooper, do you want to help me pull weeds in the garden?"

"No," he said. "Why not? It's great out," I asked.

"Well, I'll help, but I'm digging for dinosaur bones."

Well, you and I both know that Cooper was not going to find a dinosaur bone here in Northern Virginia. His expectation was intoxicating. The whole time we were out there, he kept digging. And every time he would hit something, he would say, "Mom! I think I found one. I bet it's a T-Rex."

After a few of these I said, "Do you really think you are going to find a T-Rex?"

"Maybe not a whole head, but maybe a tooth, or at least a crystal," he says.

I smiled. Expectations. Anticipations. Maybe I set mine too low? And, maybe it doesn't matter if I set them too low or not, because today a mischievous, red-headed six year old, surprised me and reminded me that there are still numerous discoveries to be made.

What more could one ask for?

Cooper to me:
"Mom, you're the best mom in the whole galazy!"

Me to Cooper:
"I have the best kids in the whole galaxy!" (I can't say he's the best, because what about the other two - so this way, I'm covered.

Cooper to me:
"I love you all the way to heaven. All the way to God's house and then all the way until the whole thing ends."

Me - speechless. Can't top that - just take it in.

Here's praying in the new year you each have someone to love you all the way until the whole thing ends.

26.2

26.2

Not long ago I ran the Marine Corps marathon. I have been running long distance since high school, and this was my first. For as long as I can remember I've said how much I wanted to run one. Around mile 7 I told my running partner that I felt as if I would cry, because I was so happy. I think I had a smile on my face for the first 13 miles. Every step felt like one step closer to the fulfillment of a dream. Then, the pain started to set in...and at mile 19 I was pretty sure I couldn't make it. But, I kept plugging along - putting one step in front of the other and I finally got there - crossing the finish line, holding hands with my running partner.

But, here's what I've been thinking about a lot these past few days (especially today). The marathon - those 26.2 miles I ran - that was the easy part. It was the short part. The hard part was actually the months leading up to the race. I didn't want to just run it - I wanted to do well. I wanted to qualify. The long runs on Saturdays (22 miles), logging miles at 5:30am every morning, and the speed work on Thursdays - that was where the work really was.

The race was just the culmination of a whole lot of sweat, exhaustion, and perseverance. I am so thankful I could enjoy the race - that I smiled and cried, that I took in the sunshine and the music, that I ate the free jelly beans and felt a rush dashing through Georgetown. It's what I worked for and it was over so fast.

Sometimes I think we focus so much on the goal of getting to something, that when it finally gets here, we forget to enjoy it and then it's gone. The it, whatever that may be, becomes something to check off, rather than something to celebrate. I'm trying to remind myself of this right now with Christmas upon us, with my semester coming to a close, with my kids growing up so fast.... I don't want it to be gone and wonder where did it go.

I wonder what it would actually be like if we really celebrated Christmas; if we really celebrated accomplishments, even if it's as small as learning to tie shoes; if we really celebrated the joy of family and friends. Who really cares if the Christmas tree cut-out cookie actually has green sprinkles on it? Maybe, just maybe letting lose and making it a red tree this year is okay. Maybe it is more fun to order a pizza, so we have time to chat with friends, rather than spend the whole night in the kitchen. And, it really is a big deal when you learn how to tie your shoes or know all your multiplication facts. Because the fact is, most of life is the training part of the marathon - the sweat, the tears, and the exhaustion, so when we get the opportunity to bask in the warmth of friends and family, love and laughter may we take it all in. Celebrate the 26.2!

What is love?

Said to me by my youngest son, Cooper:
"Mom, you know how I love you all the way up to the sky?"

Me: "Yes" (with a big smile on my face and in my heart)

Cooper: "Well, I love these new lego fruit snacks almost that much, only one inch less."

Hmmmm - either, the fruit snacks are phenominal or I am on the same level as a FRUIT SNACK! Actually, maybe it's more....my providing the special surprise treat said, "I love you" to him, so his relishing the treat so much is saying "I love you" back.

Things You Don't Sign Up For

Something I never planned on signing up for as a mom:

Trimming the fur of a long-haired guinea pig.
Washing the toenails of the aforementioned guinea pig
-AND-
talking to the guinea pig in a soothing 'mommy' voice.

Who knew?

I think this is something only a mom would do...