Today marks my one year anniversary of ordination. It is a big deal in 'my world' - although in the scheme of the world, not such a big deal. However, we all do seem to mark time by remembering anniversaries.
Last year at this time I:
was snowed in
postponed my ordination due to snow
cancelled Advent 4 due to snow
and....was fairly certain that 'this time next year' things would be very different. I was certain getting a year under my belt, so to speak, would make all the difference in the world.
So, here I sit, one year later and it seems like the only thing that is predictable in my world is the snow. The irony of 'potential significant snowfall' in the next few days is not lost on me.
I've been waiting for the "Oh, I've done this before" feeling to hit. I would love to feel like I know what I am doing....but every day I wake up and know that I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
But - don't be scared (especially if you attend the church I serve). I really don't have a clue...but God does. And, if I have learned one thing over this past year it would be, when serving God becomes predictable, then we're probably serving ourselves.
I crave organization; ministry is messy. I crave predictability; God's unpredictable. I crave rest; God is relentless. So, here's where I am at on my one year anniversary:
Right where I started.
Confused and unsure.
But faithful. To be sure, I fail sometimes, but I am trying. Of course...it's going to snow; it's only fitting, because last year at this time I said, "I'll probably never have to deal with this again...".
So, what difference does a year make? I am not sure.
But, this much is clear - I will be spending the rest of my life making the differences God calls me to (and calls you to too), whether I happen to be able to point to them or not.
Happy anniversary to me.
I've been waiting for the "Oh, I've done this before" feeling to hit. I would love to feel like I know what I am doing....but every day I wake up and know that I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
But - don't be scared (especially if you attend the church I serve). I really don't have a clue...but God does. And, if I have learned one thing over this past year it would be, when serving God becomes predictable, then we're probably serving ourselves.
I crave organization; ministry is messy. I crave predictability; God's unpredictable. I crave rest; God is relentless. So, here's where I am at on my one year anniversary:
Right where I started.
Confused and unsure.
But faithful. To be sure, I fail sometimes, but I am trying. Of course...it's going to snow; it's only fitting, because last year at this time I said, "I'll probably never have to deal with this again...".
So, what difference does a year make? I am not sure.
But, this much is clear - I will be spending the rest of my life making the differences God calls me to (and calls you to too), whether I happen to be able to point to them or not.
Happy anniversary to me.
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