Tiny Dart Frog

Poison Dart Frogs are some of the tiniest and beautiful creatures on the planet; they are also incrediably deadly. So, why call this blog "Tiny Dart Frog"? It goes back to the old adage - good things come in small packages. We are all created exactly as God has intended - unique, strong, and beautiful.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I, YHWH, am the LORD your God.

This post may be many things: a disclaimer, an excuse (at least for my text study group), a rationalization...but mostly, I am fairly certain, in the end I will know this experience as a true gift.

Yesterday morning, I sat, prepared to lead text study with a group of colleagues - I had actually prepared and I had decent theological thoughts (heck, I even knew what I was going to preach on - on Wednesday no less), and then...I started to cry.  We aren't talking about wet eyes here; we are talking about giant crocodile tears, streaming down my face...I couldn't talk.  Thankfully, someone took pity on me and told me to 'take a break'.  What I couldn't express then...the reason for my tears, I will express now.

One of the texts was from Deuteronomy...at the beginning it says, "See, I have set before you life and death.  If you obey the commandments of the LORD....then you will be blessed".  I happen to love the book of Deuteronomy.  It's not that I like laws [which much of the book is filled with], although the control freak in me appreciates it, but I like the involvement of God in our lives...appreciate the specificity.

The reason I adore it really has always been the statement God continuously makes: "I am the LORD your God".  The entire book is based on this fact.  That God is for us, that God lays claim on us.  I like knowing that I belong to someone that can spin entire universes into being.  It's pretty cool.

So, yesterday, I was all prepared to talk about this fact...God's claim on us.  And I looked at my note to myself that said "I, YHWH, am the LORD your God" and I was angry, and sad, and knew in a very real and true way God's claim on my life.

I had just moved my kids away from their friends, away from the only home they had ever known because of God's claim, God's work in the world.  I uprooted them for no other reason than that statement, "I am the LORD you God"....in my heart when I read that, I heard, "and you shall go where I ask you to go".

All of this sort-of happened in a blink...I heard that and I thought,
"I'll go, but you could pave the path a bit.  Not make it so hard on the kids.  Make it hard on me, not them." I was, for lack of an educated way of saying it, "GRRRRR!"

I was furious at this claim of God.  Downright furious.  And when I am mad and I try to talk...then I start to cry.  Well, I am a crier anyway, but that's what happened yesterday.

It is not so easy following this Jesus we follow; the claim of God on us sends us into unknown territories.  God does promise life and does give the promised land, but it's also true that it's a 'little by little' kind of thing (it says this in Exodus 24).

Here's the thing, as ticked off at God as I was in that instant yesterday, the reverse is true today.  Today I said to my son who looked at me with scared, weepy eyes, "You can do this."  And - I know he can and I'm going to keep on reminding him of it.  God has a claim on him too...a claim to bring him to a new life, to a new home, to very, very good things.

Following Jesus isn't easy and never was meant to be.
Dear text study group....I sort-of meant to say something like that yesterday rather than, "Please excuse me...I'm so sorry....sniff, sniff, sniff".

No comments:

Post a Comment